Last week I wrote about my Word for Spring: consistency. I talked about my April Tending List from my Powersheets Goal Planner. I started out the month with high hopes to practice increased focus and consistency so as to create space for intentional rest.
What I didn’t say last week (though my mom pointed out a subliminal hint in the last line of the post…totally unintentional) is that just a couple weeks ago, we got a big surprise.
If you read my post about baby clothes back in September, you’ll maybe remember my complicated feelings about adding another person to our family. The truth is, I don’t know if I’d have ever been ready to say, “Yes! We are definitely going to try and do this!” So, in some ways, having the Lord take the decision out of our hands is a relief.
At the same time, to my human mind, the timing seems really poor. My due date is December 2…right in the middle of holiday chaos. Also, Dave leaves the Army this summer, so we will change insurance and I’ll have to transition to a new doctor somewhere around the 6-month mark. We don’t know for sure where Dave will be working, if we’ll be here in this house or moved to another state by the time December rolls around.
Not much consistency on the horizon.
Right now, at only 6-weeks, I’m feeling the first trimester fatigue, some nausea, weird appetite fluctuations, and just overall lack of energy. This is preying on my patience.
Consistency seems like a super ironic choice of words for this season.
I’m comforted by what I know about my God. In my Chronological plan this year, so far I’ve read the books of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, and Job, and I’m several chapters into 1 Samuel. One thing I see about God in these Old Testament books: he is consistent.
He tells His people plainly what the consequences will be: follow Me with your whole heart and things will go well for you. I’ll fight your battles, provide for you, and protect you. Turn away from Me, and things will not go well. You’ll be defeated in battle, face famine, and serve pagan nations.
And He follows through. The details change, but the story is the same.
Consistency doesn’t mean doing the same thing the same way every time.
It doesn’t mean keeping to a schedule without deviation.
It doesn’t mean becoming a robot.
I don’t have to depend on my circumstances, my location, my energy level, or my mood in order to practice consistency.
I don’t have to mark 17 things off my to-do list every day in order to be a good steward.
Consistency is a mindset I can choose.
I can decide to spend time each day with Jesus, even if it’s not the same time every day.
I can choose to be consistent in my expectations for Abby and the consequences, no matter how I’m feeling.
I can remind myself to bite my tongue and practice patience when it’s not coming naturally.
Most of all, I can turn to my God who never changes, and repent, when I inevitably fall short of the mark.
2019 already doesn’t look like I expected. But back on January 1, I wrote this in my journal:
“While most years we know theoretically that the next 365 days will bring change, this year is one where we know concretely: change is coming … We know you go before us and our next steps are in Your hands. We trust You, and we thank You, for all You’ve done and all You are.”
There is no Unexpected Season to God. He is before it all, through it all, and in it all.
He’s consistent. He doesn’t change.
And I’m so thankful.